I get very annoyed with people who ignore the unspoken rules of Twitter.  They aren’t hard…in fact, if anyone has been online for any length of time, s/he should know a few basic rules.  For example, you don’t type in ALL CAPS ALL OF THE TIME because that makes me shrivel up into my virtual hole or cower in my own little cyber corner wishing you’d STOP YELLING AT ME!   Or, as it goes with twitter.  If you’re wondering what is proper etiquette, just google the term “Twitter Etiquette and you’ll get lots of folks with opinions.  (you can also read my forthcoming post Top Ten Twitter Faux Pas). Or just ask yourself, “would I like this if someone did it to me?”  (It’s kind of like, “What would Jesus Do?” question or “Love thy neighbor” … and all that jazz sort of common sense).

So, with that said, here’s some of my twitter followers who just don’t get it.  Okay, okay.  Don’t go all PC on me…I’m not throwing my virtual stones!  I’m just saying — If you want to be respected, then don’t pound your chest from the top of the Twitterverse. It’s the 21st century for God’s sake…a simply signature line will due, tyvm.

Here’s my first entry for… The Tweeters Hall of Shame

1. Thank You for follwing me! have a look at www.socialtwist.com.
   Ok, first of all, try spell checking your auto direct messages before you program whatever tool you’re using.  Second, capital letters are always a nice start to a sentence.  And third, tell me why I care about your link.  Here’s a suggested re-write: “Thx for the follow! I recommend using SocialTwist for social marketing. http://bit.ly”
   
2. can u proofread my ebook?password on the PDF is “synaurateam” download it from http://tinyurl.com/c2ywjo tell me wht u think!
   Do not waste my time with scams.  I hate them.  And I can smell them a mile away. Yea sure, I clicked.  Because I TRUST my followers are honest.  What a sham-wow!
3. Hi! Thx 4 da follow :>I look forward 2helping uget closer 2bliss,achievement &happiness!2 ur Success!http://bit.ly/6kccX
   Um, that’s a bit of the overkill on the colloquialisms and the shorthand there buddy. I won’t do business with anyone who spells “your” as “ur” outside of text messages.  There’s just something fishy about that to me.
4. johndrew25 automatically follows back new followers.
   Look John, don’t speak about yourself in the third person in a “direct” message.  I get enough of that with my friends’ status updates on Facebook. That’s just weird.
   
5. Hi great to see your tweets , look forward to your input you sound very interesting
   C’mon people, use punctuation!!! My copy editor would ream me if she saw me doing this.  Just because your space is limited, doesn’t mean you can’t take the time to add a period, a comma, hell even a semi-colon.  And don’t lie — you haven’t seen my tweets.  I find this one very disturbing.
   
6. Hey Susan, I just took “What 2009 Song Are You?” and got: Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship! Try it: http://xxxxxx
   I just hate these things!  And the silly mafia games too!
   

Listen, I’m not saying that Auto Direct Messages should not be allowed on Twitter (although some of my colleagues do).  But I do think we should all try to talk less about ourselves.  The auto-DM feature in many tools  are  meant to make your Twittering tasks simpler — not a place for constant SPAM and “hey-look-at-me” stuff.  Twitter is about providing value to your constituents…so let’s do that by giving them an auto-DM that makes sense.

I’ll keep adding to this list over time.  Please add your comments from DM’s that you’ve recieved that are funny, silly, or are just plain horrible.  I want to hear from you!

~susan